my boobs jiggle when i walk. my buckle stabs me when i bend.

All the late night Wendy's and afternoon trips to Chipotle followed by evening trips to Chipotle have finally packed my clothing to full capacity. Actually, I think a few items might be leaning into overflow territory... according to my girlfriend and her finger that points every time my shirts drifts up my midriff. Change is a necessity at this point. I've been eating like a rabbit and workin' it like Richard Simmons... with any luck i'll be able to shake it like Beyonce in no time (please excuse all the name dropping analogies. not funny, i know. so please refrain from reiterating that in your comments. thanks).

Not only is this going to make me a sexy pool going beefcake by summer but, I have money riding on this.... 50 bucks to be exact. If I lose more than the other fools who entered the contest, I could be sitting pretty with 700+ big ones. I think it's in the bag considering I weighed in with about 8lbs of water in my stomach. And no! this isn't cheating, I was thirsty.

Wish me luck.

My diet is and consists of a daily mix and match of the following.

- Slim Fast Optima shakes

- yogurt

- fruit (pomegranate, apples, oranges and pineapple mostly)

- cottage cheese

- various concoctions of fruit juices (made by me and my Breville Juice Fountain Plus)

- Lean Cuisine Cafe Classics

- small portions of mock chipotle rice

- pitas

- water (filtered and bottled)

- soy milk  (half glass at a time)

- steamed vegetables (from frozen bags)

My workout regiment consists of equal and some non equal parts of the following.

- treadmill

- elipticizing

- big weight machine w/ 4 different stations and no labels on the weights

- abs w/ Debbie Siebers

- stretch w/ Debbie Siebers

- shvitzing w/ Pete and Leslie

- free weights

- stationary bike

- 8 minute arms / abs / buns / legs

* and hopefully in January all these videos / contraptions will be replaced with one simple little board